My Past

I don’t know what I feel
As I stand here to heal
Overlooking the sea
The vast and the mighty sea
Treasuring her own secrets
I forget my past,
Leave my present,
What about my future?
Wait, do I really have one?
A future? Neither an idea nor hope.
I just don’t have a right for a future.
After the actions of my past.
Past is past, says someone
But my past?
It has never left me.
Tormenting me at every step I take
Stopping me from doing what I want
I want freedom, freedom from my past.
I want to fly with my wings spread,
I want to dream of a future,
Not anyone’s but my own
My own future, where I will be happy
I want to go somewhere
A place where my past cannot reach me
A place where I can believe in myself.
I don’t know what to do
I know what I dream of, is impossible
For me, that is what is left of my life
I want to play, to love and be loved.
I want to grow but
Something tugs at me and as I look back
It is my past again, being a very loyal friend
It is still with me.
I am confused.
I feel the wind stroking my hair,
As I stand here on this cliff,
I see the sea widening her arms
Calling me, asking me to join her
To be one of her treasures
Whom she will protect forever.
I have no option, I cannot think twice.
I just opened my arms like a free bird
And jumped into the vastness of the sea.
To be enfolded by her,
To be away from this world
A place where your past is your best friend
No matter what you do.
So I jump and reach a place
Where I get freedom from my past.
As my physical body reaches the seabed,
I leave it and reach the skies.
I open my arms to be free of my past
And I fly, like a free bird I always wanted to be.